


Smooth as a Bump in the Road

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, F/M, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 18:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15321927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Smooth as a Bump in the Road

“Kid, you have to go for it.”

“I can’t. I’m awkward and she won’t feel the same way and then everything will be weird.”

Y/N had started at the BAU about six weeks earlier and she’d fit in perfectly with the team. It was like she’d been grown in a lab specifically to be placed with his team at this time. It was just her personality though. She was easy-going, intelligent, funny, and likable - not to mention beautiful though obviously that had nothing to do with her being a perfect fit for the BAU. Basically, she was too perfect for words and there was no way in hell she was going to have feelings for him. At least not like the kind he had for her.

If he was at home, he thought of her. If he was at work, he thought of her even more. She was always on his mind. Her beautiful face haunted him like an angel. It wasn’t the worst thing obviously, but he hated knowing that she’d never return his feelings. “She has no interest in me, Morgan. What’s the point?”

“The point is you don’t know. I personally think you underestimate yourself and she probably wants all over your scrawny body,” he chuckled. Spencer had a way with women but he didn’t realize it. He had the nerd thing. Women loved the nerd thing. “Plus, the rest of us are all getting a little tired of watching you drool uncontrollably and not doing anything about it. Tell her you’re madly in love.”

“Oh, that definitely doesn’t put women off,” Spencer scoffed. 

Morgan slapped him on the shoulder. “Okay, so don’t do that. But feel things out. Ask her out. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Rejection,” he hissed. “I know that you know nothing of the kind because of your ‘chocolate thunder’ as Garcia likes to call it, but I get rejected all the time and it sucks.”

“Just do it, kid. I really think you’re underestimating yourself.”

After shrugging it off and returning to their desks, Y/N returned from the bathroom and took her place in front of a pile of paperwork. He wanted to say something to her. But what was he supposed to say. How was he supposed to bring this up? He couldn’t just be blunt about it. That would weird her out. “Okay, okay,” he whispered to himself. “I can think of something.” Every afternoon, she’d grab a coffee at around the same time - in about 15 minutes.

They ticked by so slowly, but finally she got up from her desk. “Okay, I can do this.”

“Hey, Spence,” she said, smiling as she stirred her coffee. “Here for your usual sugar with a splash of coffee?”

He laughed nervously and grabbed the carafe to start pouring. “Always. Still have a lot of paperwork to get through?”

“Always,” she countered. 

“You know for as much as humans consume paper we actually plant more trees than me use at least right now.”

“Is that so?” She asked.

With the little bit of attention, and not altogether bad, he started rambling. “Yea, we cut down approximately 2,470,000 trees a day, which equates to about 900 million a year, but there are actual forest companies and just people in general that bring the yearly planting rate to somewhere around 1.6 billion.”

The way she smiled made his heart melt, but he couldn’t gauge her laugh. Whether it was nervous or pitying or something else entirely, he couldn’t be sure. “Well, I guess that’s good to know. Humanity won’t completely wipe out trees just yet, so oxygen is safe.”

“There is pollution, so who knows,” Spencer said without thinking. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Morgan and Emily closing their eyes in exasperation. Then he felt a buzzing in his pocket. 

Morgan: You had it until that last bit. Breathe.  
He typed back, pointed fingers angry and firm against the screen. 

Shut up.  
“Given our jobs, I’d say humanity is destined to screw itself over in another way.”

Spencer cringed. “I’d laugh if that weren’t so true. Okay, something else that isn’t so depressing. Umm, did you know that despite it seeming like people are too busy to read or they just don’t read as much anymore that the revenue for publishing companies has actually gone up which means more books are being sold.” He literally couldn’t stop the word vomit. It just kept coming. 

“That might just be you,” she responded.

“Huh?”

“Well, you read 20,000 words a minute. I imagine you read 10-20 books a weekend.”

“Wait, you imagine what I do on the weekends?” He asked. He shouldn’t have asked that. Why did he allow that to come out of his mouth? “No, of course not. Why would you? I’m sorry I asked. I didn’t ask. Just forget it.”

“Spence, chill.” Reaching out, Y/N placed her hand on his arm. “You’re rambling again.”

“Sorry,” he said, taking a deep breath. He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. “I’m just hopped up on coffee I guess. You know as much as Americans drink coffee, the most caffeine-fueled country is Finland with adults consuming as much as 400 milligrams a day.”

He looked toward the rest of his friends again and saw JJ practically biting her fingernails off.

He could feel his pocket buzzing again. Later on, he was going to kill Morgan. Now, how would he bury the body? “Spencer,” Y/N laughed. “Take a deep breath for me.” He did as she said, a few times as a matter of fact, and then he started to feel a bit better. “I don’t think caffeine is the reason you’re rambling.”

“Why n-n-not?”

“Because you drink coffee all the time. Everyone builds up a tolerance of sorts, which I know you’re aware of. I think you’re rambling because you’re nervous.”

The team was now “watching” also known as pretending to have a conversation while actually eavesdropping so he started to walk in the opposite direction and Y/N followed. “Why w-would I be nervous?”

“Spencer…you like me. Don’t you?” She raised an eyebrow and he felt the bile rise in his throat.

He couldn’t make eye contact. “Is it t-that obvious?”

“Yea,” she laughed quietly. “You can hide a lot of things, but that’s not one of them.”

“Great,” he said, running his hands through his hair. “Okay, well since it’s out there, is there a snowballs’ chance in hell that you might want to go out with me sometime? Like on a date?”

She turned the corner so they were out of view of the rest of the team now. “There’s more than a snowballs’ chance, Spencer. I don’t know why you think I wouldn’t like you.”

“R-really?” He could picture it. She was her and he was him. It just didn’t fit. “You’re so out of my league.”

“Leagues are stupid. Whoever made up the concept of leagues is a fucking idiot.”

He snorted at her use of foul language in the office. Outside of the office, she had no such filter. “So maybe we could go out for coffee one time? Instead of crappy Bureau coffee?”

“How about dinner instead? Tonight.” She leaned into him and kissed his cheek. 

“That sounds great. So am I at all smooth or do you just have a thing for nerds?” He asked. He had a feeling he knew the answer though.

As they rounded back around the corner to their desks, she laughed. “You’re about as smooth as a bump in the road Spence, but I happen to find it endearing in you. Because I know you. And you’re a good man.”

“Thanks,” he replied, blushing furiously. “Can you fend off the team? Because we’re about to get devoured. They were watching us the whole time.”

She knew as much. They were so obvious. So, SO obvious. “I’ve got it,” she said, turning to the group. “Yea we’re going on a date. Tonight. No, you don’t get to ask questions. Not yet. And if I hear any talk of this conversation and the one Spencer and I just had I will kick all of your asses. Clear?” She smiled so wide it was almost comical. 

But as everyone went back to their desks it was apparent that everyone had heard her message loud and clear.


End file.
